Thank you Mr. Viall

“It’s easy to love someone when it’s all fairy tale and that kind of thing. It’s harder to maintain those feelings when you have to struggle with confronting problems. And that’s where relationships make or they dont, because those are the things that matter.” – Mr. Viall

Let’s get real. I am so not a Bachelor fan. Corrine was just too good to pass up on the TV screen. 

Okay, let’s get serious. I have always vowed to stay truthful and honest. Especially to my readers and myself. I will speak towards my childhood and I will reflect on the trauma in my life. I’ve taken every hardship and made it a life milestone. But not every bump in my road has been easy to glide on. My path has many, and I mean many boulders. However, one has been meddling in my life for years, and it’s been hard to crush it. 

I just so happened to start recording The Bachelor because I could not get enough of Corrine’s behavior…and her platinum vagine comments. After her gracious farewell, I kept watching the very addictive show. And then, in one episode, I was reminded of something so powerful that put a long pause in my marriage. I needed the advice spoken in this one episode. I needed for someone else to say it besides myself.

You think being broke, having children, bickering, sharing a bathroom with your significant other or deployments are a means to end it all. Actually, in most cases, those are an actual reason to slit the marriage contract…certificate. I’m an Army wife who not only signed a marriage certificate, but an Army contract. 

A few years ago I said goodbye to my husband as he left for school. This was an Army school where there really were no rules, regulations and boundaries. During this time, I was about to embark on fertility treatments and our marriage was fantastic. Trust me. It was finally amazing! I say “finally” because after twelve months in Afghanistan, we spent another fifteen months in therapy before he left for another deployment. We HATED one another. So, to get to the point of having children was a complete head on course of tough fighting and finding that love again, which is so fucking hard.

After these two miserable weeks passed, my husband came home demanding a divorce. I thought, cool. Because I deserve way more anyways. A few weeks later I just so happened to stumble upon some not so marriage friendly information. 

Being the inspired SF (Special Forces) wife as I am, I researched. Yes, that is the nickname my husband gave me…SF. I am good at finding out information, even before his Platoon Leader can find out information. It’s been proven…too many times. I researched and asked many questions. Of course, the answers given to me never aligned with other answers I received, so I took what was given to me and moved on. Nothing officially ever lined up. I still have questions beyond belief, and I still have challenges with not only myself, but with my husband. I will never really know the truth, even if my husband is speaking it.

And then this quote came about on, The Bachelor, “It’s harder to maintain those feelings when you have to struggle with confronting problems.” 

This statement is such a powerful piece for any and all relationships. HOW can you maintain love when struggling with confronting problems with your significant other? For years, the issue in our marriage was always at the forefront of my mind. As I’ve gradually tried to forget the issue, I’ve been slowly starting to accept my husband, again. It is a battle of its own trying to maintain those feelings for someone who may or may not have hurt you (Like I said, I still don’t have answers). The one person who you’ve made a lifelong commitment with hurts you, and it’s through thick and thin, right? It’s hard. 

My attitude and gray cloud has finally paid it’s toll with not only me, but with my husband. I have held this grudge for years against him, and the grudge finally slapped me in the face. We are both tired of “it.” But it is hard beyond belief to trust the one person who was never meant to hurt you. It’s a challenge to enjoy this life with that person. You live in fear that once you accept this person, that you’ll get hurt again. But you must maintain those true feelings at which invited a marriage between you both.  

No matter what is thrown in your direction, fight through it. Maintain those feelings. In the end, marriage is truly worth fighting for. You will find your happiness, again. It’s been proven. 


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